How does one change?

I have to tell you, I am pissed at myself again. Why oh why does my mouth keep getting me into trouble, why is it that I feel compelled to yell at games. Why is it that when a dear friend tries to tell me that the mothers of the team players are in front of me that I just don't shut up? Why is it that I am consumed with people liking me? Why is it that I am so afraid that the words already spoken will not be forgotten? Why is it that I was not born mild or meek? Why is it that I can't see the whole picture? Why is it that a bunch of women with money get under my skin? Why should I care? Why do people feel so compelled to look down their noses at someone just because they don't live in the same neighborhood as they do? Why do they have to gossip and spread ugly things about nice people? Why should I care what they think of me? Why, why, why?

I live in a world where you have to worry about what you say and do and how people act and react to it. I hate it. I sit her getting madder and madder at myself thinking that my son will be the one who pays for his mothers words. Would women go after a kid? Who knows. I guess I will just sit back, mouth shut, mild and meek, kiss some butt and pray that these women who have nothing better to do but gossip and compete with each other..... do. Sad, Sad, Sad.